Monday, September 28, 2009
Horse Teeth VS Human Teeth
A certain someone, who I won't mention, once, or twice, commented that I have horse teeth. I wasn't sure how to take it at first, but they assured me it was a compliment. I felt fine with that, and forgot the comment all together. That is until I typed into Google Image Search-Horse Teeth.
Friday, September 25, 2009
All in a Days Work!
Have you ever had one of those days, where ya just can't quite get it right?
Well, if you haven't, it's because I've taken your fare share of them. In fact, I set a record for Dumb-Bob comments and moments today. You know, those comments that are made when you blurt out something so ridiculous people don't know whether to laugh, or just walk away.
These events, go as followed.
Event 1:
Needless to say, despite my clumsiness, sssttttuuuuddddeeeerrr, and lack of tact, I got a date! WOoO HoOo! Gotta fill that cantine before I go on the mish!
Event 2:
Convo between Manager TJ, Manager Trainee Nate, and I. All three of us are at the back of the store, tagging shoes with tags. There's a huge pile of labels, and they are on card stock paper, when somehow we get stuck on the topic of tree huggers.
Well, if you haven't, it's because I've taken your fare share of them. In fact, I set a record for Dumb-Bob comments and moments today. You know, those comments that are made when you blurt out something so ridiculous people don't know whether to laugh, or just walk away.
These events, go as followed.
Event 1:
Pull up bars and dropping cards
I work at Big 5 sporting goods selling shoes in the shoe department. It's a fun part time job that helps pass the time away until I go on my mission.
Today we had to put up ads on all the sale merchendise by tagging them with sticker, and labels. It's early in my work day, and in my arms I'm holding this big pile of tags, tape, and tagger tails, searching the area to find the items on sale, and proceed by tagging them. While in search mode, my thought process is inturrupted by this male specimen walking by.
Like a responsible retail worker should, I look at him and say, "Can I help you find anything?"
He smiles, looks into my eyes and says, "No, I'm just looking around, passing the time away." So I politely nod, smile, and walk away, minding my own business.
1.5 seconds later, as I'm walking away, he blurts out- "well actually, can you help me find those pull up bars that you put in your doorway"-
I say, "well yes, come follow me, they're right over here"- and I show him the way.
He tells me he needs a good one, because he bent his last one with his strong muscles. (He's an air force dude, big burly guy) I helped his ego a bit and say something about him being to tough for a dinky pull up bar. (yeah..not way smooth)
As he's looking at the product he sees one that is small and portable, and says " Oh that one would be perfect! I could fit it in my sleeping bag!"
Images of stuffing this portable pull up bar into a sleeping bag start flashing through my head, and I raise one eyebrow at this guy, and stare at him, unsure of how to respond to the comment...thinking, why the heck would he stuff that into a sleeping bag?
He realizes his mistake and starts embarrassingly laughing, and stammers over his words "Uh, you know, in case I wanna take it camping....to uh, latch it onto a tree and scare off them bears!"
I lost it. I'm cracking up, and so is he. I giggle back, "Yeah you do that, You scare them bears tough guy"
And then walk away.
So here I am once again, minding my own business, with this huge stack of tags in my hand when this same guy walks back over to me. I look and say "hi, uh, do you need something?"
He just starts talking and telling me I seem like I'm really fun....
I sheepishly look at him, and say thank you, followed by nervous laughter. Meanwhile I'm trying to focus on keeping all these tags and tools in my hands.
He keeps blabbing on, and I realize he's kinda hitting on me....I get kind of nervous...Because I'm so prone to saying off the wall rediculous comments. Not funny ones. Embarrassing ones. I'm illiterate when it comes to flirting if it's not on my terms. I'm all honky dory if I initiate it, but when someone else starts it, AHH! I get all clammy and nervous, and fff. fffreeze up!
Here I stand, I'm stumbling over my words, trying to keep my vision straight, and my body temperature down so he can't tell I'm blushing, and all the sudden, I drop everything out of my hands.
I get this "oops!" look spread accross my face, and quickly bend over to pick it all up, (awkwardly bending over trying to make sure the butt crack doesn't come out) and right as I stand up, I drop it all again. He's just standing there, staring at me with the look that says, "Come on girl get it right!"
I awkwardly stand up again, my cheeks are starting to burn, and my eyes go squinty, as if that's going to help me focus. Factor squint eyes isn't working so I start doing my nervous laugh, hoping that will lighten the situation.
It didn't work, I dropped it all again! I swear those tags were like a wet and slippery bar of soap. You just can't ever quite latch on tight enough to keep it in your hands!
I work at Big 5 sporting goods selling shoes in the shoe department. It's a fun part time job that helps pass the time away until I go on my mission.
Today we had to put up ads on all the sale merchendise by tagging them with sticker, and labels. It's early in my work day, and in my arms I'm holding this big pile of tags, tape, and tagger tails, searching the area to find the items on sale, and proceed by tagging them. While in search mode, my thought process is inturrupted by this male specimen walking by.
Like a responsible retail worker should, I look at him and say, "Can I help you find anything?"
He smiles, looks into my eyes and says, "No, I'm just looking around, passing the time away." So I politely nod, smile, and walk away, minding my own business.
1.5 seconds later, as I'm walking away, he blurts out- "well actually, can you help me find those pull up bars that you put in your doorway"-I say, "well yes, come follow me, they're right over here"- and I show him the way.
He tells me he needs a good one, because he bent his last one with his strong muscles. (He's an air force dude, big burly guy) I helped his ego a bit and say something about him being to tough for a dinky pull up bar. (yeah..not way smooth)
As he's looking at the product he sees one that is small and portable, and says " Oh that one would be perfect! I could fit it in my sleeping bag!"
Images of stuffing this portable pull up bar into a sleeping bag start flashing through my head, and I raise one eyebrow at this guy, and stare at him, unsure of how to respond to the comment...thinking, why the heck would he stuff that into a sleeping bag?
He realizes his mistake and starts embarrassingly laughing, and stammers over his words "Uh, you know, in case I wanna take it camping....to uh, latch it onto a tree and scare off them bears!"
I lost it. I'm cracking up, and so is he. I giggle back, "Yeah you do that, You scare them bears tough guy"
And then walk away.
So here I am once again, minding my own business, with this huge stack of tags in my hand when this same guy walks back over to me. I look and say "hi, uh, do you need something?"
He just starts talking and telling me I seem like I'm really fun....
I sheepishly look at him, and say thank you, followed by nervous laughter. Meanwhile I'm trying to focus on keeping all these tags and tools in my hands.
He keeps blabbing on, and I realize he's kinda hitting on me....I get kind of nervous...Because I'm so prone to saying off the wall rediculous comments. Not funny ones. Embarrassing ones. I'm illiterate when it comes to flirting if it's not on my terms. I'm all honky dory if I initiate it, but when someone else starts it, AHH! I get all clammy and nervous, and fff. fffreeze up!
Here I stand, I'm stumbling over my words, trying to keep my vision straight, and my body temperature down so he can't tell I'm blushing, and all the sudden, I drop everything out of my hands.
I get this "oops!" look spread accross my face, and quickly bend over to pick it all up, (awkwardly bending over trying to make sure the butt crack doesn't come out) and right as I stand up, I drop it all again. He's just standing there, staring at me with the look that says, "Come on girl get it right!"
I awkwardly stand up again, my cheeks are starting to burn, and my eyes go squinty, as if that's going to help me focus. Factor squint eyes isn't working so I start doing my nervous laugh, hoping that will lighten the situation.
It didn't work, I dropped it all again! I swear those tags were like a wet and slippery bar of soap. You just can't ever quite latch on tight enough to keep it in your hands!
Needless to say, despite my clumsiness, sssttttuuuuddddeeeerrr, and lack of tact, I got a date! WOoO HoOo! Gotta fill that cantine before I go on the mish!
Event 2:
Convo between Manager TJ, Manager Trainee Nate, and I. All three of us are at the back of the store, tagging shoes with tags. There's a huge pile of labels, and they are on card stock paper, when somehow we get stuck on the topic of tree huggers.
TJ: Bobbi, are you a tree hugger?
Bobbi: Yes.
TJ: Are you really?
Bobbi: (sarcastic tone) Yes, aren't you?
TJ: No
Nate: (looks at me like he knows something is coming)
TJ: No you aren't, or you wouldn't be working at Big 5. We use TONS of paper! Look at all these stacks of paper tags!
Nate: Yeah, why don't you go work for the forest service.
Bobbi: (with a look of shock and confusion, I muster out) I don't hug stacks of paper! (duh) I hug trees...
Nate: (chuckles and brings his hands to his forehead, and shakes his head)
TJ: (eyes are popping out of his head in aww and mouth drops-awkward silence)
Bobbi: (hunched over lmbo)
TJ walks away
Nate stares
Bobbi: Alright! (as I'm walking away from nate) I'll Leaf ya alone.
Event 3
When a customer wants to put something on hold, we have to get a managers signature. I walk up to TJ with a hold tag for him to sign.
Bobbi: Tij, with you sign this?
Tj: No
Bobbi: Why?
Tj: I don't want to.
Bobbi: That's rude!
Tj: What are you going to do about it?
Bobbi: Forge your signature
Tj: I dare you to try
Bobbi: No
Tj: Why?
Bobbi: You have to many scribbijulls in it
Tj: (stares at me, I imagine he's thinking, what the crap are scribbijulls?)
Bobbi: (trying to cover up my tracks) You know, Scribbijulls. Those Loopy things.
Apparently I make up my own words. Tj shakes his head in disbelieve, laughs hard, signs it and tells me to go away.
Event 4...ish
Tagger Tails VS Tiger Tails
Bobbi: Yes.
TJ: Are you really?
Bobbi: (sarcastic tone) Yes, aren't you?
TJ: No
Nate: (looks at me like he knows something is coming)
TJ: No you aren't, or you wouldn't be working at Big 5. We use TONS of paper! Look at all these stacks of paper tags!
Nate: Yeah, why don't you go work for the forest service.
Bobbi: (with a look of shock and confusion, I muster out) I don't hug stacks of paper! (duh) I hug trees...
Nate: (chuckles and brings his hands to his forehead, and shakes his head)
TJ: (eyes are popping out of his head in aww and mouth drops-awkward silence)
Bobbi: (hunched over lmbo)
TJ walks away
Nate stares
Bobbi: Alright! (as I'm walking away from nate) I'll Leaf ya alone.
Event 3
When a customer wants to put something on hold, we have to get a managers signature. I walk up to TJ with a hold tag for him to sign.
Bobbi: Tij, with you sign this?
Tj: No
Bobbi: Why?
Tj: I don't want to.
Bobbi: That's rude!
Tj: What are you going to do about it?
Bobbi: Forge your signature
Tj: I dare you to try
Bobbi: No
Tj: Why?
Bobbi: You have to many scribbijulls in it
Tj: (stares at me, I imagine he's thinking, what the crap are scribbijulls?)
Bobbi: (trying to cover up my tracks) You know, Scribbijulls. Those Loopy things.
Apparently I make up my own words. Tj shakes his head in disbelieve, laughs hard, signs it and tells me to go away.
Event 4...ish
Tagger Tails VS Tiger Tails
(Back to Shoe department, still tagging shoes (between Tj, Nate, Bobbi)
We have these plastic things that are apparently called "Tagger Tails" to latch the tags onto the shoes.
Bobbi: Tj, will you pass me some tiger tails?
Tj: (raises eyebrow) Some what?
Bobbi: Tiger Tails
Tj: What are Tiger Tails?
Bobbi: Quit teasin, give me some Tiger Tales
Tj: I don't know what you mean, I don't see any tigers, but if you want a Tagger Tail, Then here you go.
Bobbi: (I have a confused expression on my face, I thought for sure they were called Tiger Tails)-dumb founded I say, "thanks" and raise my hand high in the air make a claw gesture, and glance at Nate, and Tj....and blurt out, "roar!"
*Sigh* Oh what would it be like to just get it right?
We have these plastic things that are apparently called "Tagger Tails" to latch the tags onto the shoes.
Bobbi: Tj, will you pass me some tiger tails?
Tj: (raises eyebrow) Some what?
Bobbi: Tiger Tails
Tj: What are Tiger Tails?
Bobbi: Quit teasin, give me some Tiger Tales
Tj: I don't know what you mean, I don't see any tigers, but if you want a Tagger Tail, Then here you go.
Bobbi: (I have a confused expression on my face, I thought for sure they were called Tiger Tails)-dumb founded I say, "thanks" and raise my hand high in the air make a claw gesture, and glance at Nate, and Tj....and blurt out, "roar!"
*Sigh* Oh what would it be like to just get it right?
Not Fun, that's for sure.
Roar.
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